Thank You For Everything

I started writing down my thoughts already yesterday afternoon. But after the first lines, I realized my thoughts weren’t clear enough to be posted anywhere. Now after another night, I feel I’m slowly finding my way back to this planet.

What a Monday. One I will never forget. First of all, thank you for sharing this moment with us online and in Helsinki at Clarion Hotel. I knew I was doing exactly what needs to be done and also for the right reasons, but It’s amazing how small it made me feel standing in front of you. But it surprised me how well you took it. The reaction was exactly like the band rehearsals and video shoots have been the last months. Full of sorrow and confusion, but still all coated with pure love and accepting what is.

The best thing in all this is that the other band guys understand me and that we are in this together. Now I know we’ll be friends even after August next year. I wasn’t sure what they’d say when I asked them if we should do the final tour together. I would have understood a NO. Going out one more time means the world to me. Ending something this amazing without a proper goodbye, without doing it with you all, would have been wrong. You all have surprised us with the amount of love and loudness before, but I guess this time nobody knows what’s coming. I just can’t wait.

Writing these lines now on my home sofa, my heart feels more peaceful. I know that I am following the right path and making the choices that are leading me where I want to go. I feel sad and also a bit tired in this sea of emotions, but in the middle of the whole cocktail it all feels right. And I also feel quilt. I know that I am stopping the dream train also for Raul, Sami, Riku & Osmo next August and to many of you too who have worked hard for where we are with you today. This band has been a massive part of identity, life, and routines to all band members, our team around us and to many others too.

To clear my head yesterday after a long day, I went to an Ice Hockey game. What else ;) I was scared going to the arena because I know most HIFK fans know my face. And after all the headlines yesterday, I was sure they’d know what’s going on. For my surprise, every second hockey fan, both teams, came to me on the breaks congratulating me for the big decision wishing me and us luck in life and hoping for a final mega moment together next summer. Then this (obviously) grandfather came to me with his grandson. Both were wearing a red Ice Hockey jersey, and the old man pointed at me and said to his little one “That is a brave man…” I almost died right there.

After the game I was also brave enough to read all the hundreds of messages from everyone and I also sat down a couple of hours alone reading all your comments and stuff on social media. I was shocked how full of love they were. Thank you all for your kind and beautiful words and you can all be proud of yourselves of how smart and loving you think. I didn’t sleep much last night digesting your wise words. What you wrote and said felt like a miracle.

In the hardest moments in life you face the biggest questions. It never feels fair. If you’re lucky, you know the answers inside you. Then in the middle of all the noise and opinions of others and also your own fears, you need to find the courage to do what’s right. And if you find the strength to follow your heart, it might take you where you truly want to go. Thank you again angels around me for helping me hear what needs to be heard. And thank you for standing behind me when I had my weak moment.

I know summer 2020 with Sunrise Avenue will be beyond beautiful. There can’t be any other way. This masterpiece that we have created together with you all will see its most amazing moments so far. And the farewell will be something we don’t even dear to dream about yet. It’s gonna be something we will never forget.

This sofa in Helsinki is full of love right now. And I’m sending most of it back to you. Because you also deserve it for our final steps together.

Samu